An Epiphany

I have entered a whole new way of living.  I am sharing my son with his father.  This is not something that I am used too, at all.  I’m sad.  He left on sunday night to spend the week up in Vermont with his father and step-mother because its school vacation week here.  Its been two days and I miss him.  I will be heading up there thursday morning to spend the remainder of the weekend up there with them all but its still hard for right now.   I don’t like that he is 3 1/2 hours away.  I can’t just go pick him up if he needs me.  I’ve talked to him quite a few times both yesterday and today and I know he is having so much fun.  The quality time he is spending with his father after a four year absence its just priceless.  And its all I ever wanted, was for him to have a relationship with his dad.  So i’m happy.  But i’m sad. 

In case you are stuck on the “i’m spending the remainder of the weekend with them” line, yes we all get a long great.   It really shows the true character of us adults.  I (and we) can put the past behind us, push our differences aside, and be friends.  I can do that with just about anyone.  Its not healthy to live your life hating or grudging someone.  Whats the point? 

So now that I’ve had a couple days alone, without my baby,  it just reiterates that I don’t want my life to pass by.  So I am pulling away from online life.  Not completely, dont worry, don’t get your panties in a wad.  But I’ll be online less often.  I’m going to try to do more posts all at once and schedule them to post throught the week.  I’m hardly ever on twitter and facebook anymore anyways…its mostly just full of drama that I want nothing to do with so I steer clear.  But I just want to enjoy my life, my son. 

Don’t worry, my blog isn’t going anywhere.